Learning how to be unapologetic

I say sorry a lot. It is part being Canadian, but also part how I have always been. I say sorry for something so bizarre as stubbing my toe, or as major as being blunt when I should not be. It is what it is. But this is not the same as being unapologetic in life.

If you had asked me a few years ago if I was living my life freely or being unapologetic, I would have said no. The “care what the people say” idea was far too ingrained in my head. Now, well not as much thankfully.

So what is being unapologetic? Simple : Stop being sorry for who you are as a person, as a human, and as a personality. Simple to say of course, hard to put in practice. What I learned though, was that constantly thinking of thoughts like “being perfect”, “being appropriate”, are just ways of self-destruction and self mutilation of our self-esteem. Now, that were a lot of hard words jumbled together, but what it really means is that we should never apologize for who we are. We are all different people, even if we belong to the same culture, country, family, belief, or group of friends. Understanding and acknowledging these differences is difficult, I understand, but it is the most liberating feeling- trust me.

It means owning up to your flaws, your quirks, your qualities and your weirdness. Being honest, upfront, straightforward, admitting mistakes and just being- is how we become unapologetic. It is a long process, but deserves our full and complete attention. There will be many hurdles, many stop signs but you should never give up. We deserve to make the most of who we are, and that is not possible if we are constantly thinking about how to please others, how to be perfect or how to pretend to be someone we are not.

So, my friends, own up to who you are, do not be afraid to express yourself, and enjoy experiences as they come. We all make mistakes, there is no such thing as a perfect human being. Because if there was a perfect human being, we would be robots and not our different unique personalities.

 

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Overwhelming isn’t it….

I really want to have a conversation with the person who said it gets easier with time. Of course it does- we get used to it.

Trying to figure out life is overwhelming. Period. Trying to figure everything out at being 23 years old is a mission. I mean, it doesn’t stop does it. First have to deal with studying, exams, assignments etc etc. Now, its choosing which direction I want to set my life in for the next 10 years. I mean I have trouble deciding what to wear the next day, how is society expecting me to decide for the next 10 years in a couple months? Seems like another rendition of mission impossible to me.

After being in hard-core University life for almost 6 years, I can finally say I am done with studying. But then, the nerd inside me gets bored of not having challenging new material to study? Like, brain please decide – I am already confused out of my mind.

Now this post is by no means a reflection of my up and down mental health, nor is it a dark post. This is my sarcastic brain combined with lame humour trying to tackle this onset of societal expectations with a new lens. True, nobody has really said directly to me ” so hey what are your next steps, where are you taking your career”.. but I see it in their faces every time I tell them I am enjoying life and taking one day at a time and that I want to make sure every work I do makes me happy. So yeah, I am putting my peace of mind first. And why not? I mean… i did ruin my peace of mind for the last 23 years just to make sure I graduated with my head held high.

All of this is so overwhelming sometimes. Too much too soon. I wish everything could just move with the pace of Canadian winter… slow and long… but not dark please. Enough darkness already, sheesh.

Oh well, I guess the next time someone asks me about my next steps, my answer will be ” I’m chilling, and you? “.

 

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